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Are All of My Problems Real?

Are They Real or Do I Make Them Up?

Yes and No. As human beings, we have the uncanny psychological capacity to be very reality oriented and also to blow some problems out of proportion. At times we even create dilemmas where there are none. Sometimes we make up problems in our head. Therefore, some problems are very real while others are distortions or imagined.

What Kind of Problems Do I Face?

There are 2 kinds of problems that humans face.

  1. Real life problems in the outer world demand our attention, like financial, social, parenting, automobile, medical, or work and career problems.
  2. Real  psychological dilemmas centered within us silently and unconsciously, such as emotional, mental, spiritual, sexual, relationship or self-identity problems.

Man sees other self in mirror

Why Do I Have a Problem in Solving Problems?

Humans are masters of distortion, exaggeration and imagination. Sometimes, in our head, we embellish or blowout of proportion a problem and magnify the size or importance of it. We are frequently drawn into a confusing world of demands, extremes, dichotomies and paradoxes. And this makes understanding and managing our problems all the more difficult and complex.

We may become very uncomfortable and get caught-up in doubt and uncertainty. We can also be overwhelmed with fear or anxiety when thinking about confronting some types of dilemmas. We get stuck and don’t know what to do. So, we procrastinate and avoid working on the problems areas. That’s why many of us have difficulty solving problems.

Are Problems Inevitable and Inescapable?

Yes. It’s not a “problem” that we have difficulties and obstacles to face and manage. They are inescapable. It’s just a fact of life that we all deal with and try to accept as our human condition. Problems are simply realities, big or small, that we face daily.

Give me a call if you want to consult with me about problem-solving – either personal issues or business concerns. Call 805-448-5053.

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By Revel Miller, Ph.D.

Revel Miller, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist who has been practicing psychology for over 25 years and living in Santa Barbara for more than 15 years. He specializes in treating adults who experience depression, marital conflict, divorce transition and parenting challenges. Dr. Miller is also a behavioral health psychologist who collaborates with medical professionals and treats chronically ill patients who suffer from stress due to their illness. In addition, he actively collaborates with divorce attorneys and mediators to help support their clients who struggle with the stresses associated with marital transition. Moreover, Revel Miller is an experienced business coach who assists professionals, executives and small business owners to develop and grow their businesses.