Revel Miller, Ph.D.

Note: This is Part V of a 6-part series of blog articles. Here I introduce 4 more reasons for reluctance to join a therapy group. In the preceding article, entitled “Misconceptions about Group Therapy, Part IV”, I presented 3 other reasons for this reluctance.

16 Misconceptions about Group Therapy 

Below, I will dispel 2 more of the distorted expectations about process therapy groups:

11. In a group I will rapidly make changes in my behaviors, mood or self-esteem.

Like all psychotherapy methods, change is usually made slowly over time depending upon how much effort you put into your healing process. There are usually no “quick fixes” that endure for long periods of time.

Changes in behavior and self-esteem must be earned and maintained. New habits must be transformed. Listening needs to improve. Moods take time to lift. Emotions need to be detected and understood. Thinking must become clearer and more realistic. Genuine friendships and trust need to be developed. Past history needs to be put into perspective. All of this processing, shifting and transitioning takes time.

So, there is a lot to be dealt with in the human psyche for meaningful healing and positive change to take place.

12. I fear being dominated, alienated and emotionally overwhelmed in group therapy.

These are realistic concerns by new members. If you have a tendency to be dependent, non-social or reactive, then these habits will emerge and play-out in the group. However, in group the members will interfere with these unwanted and automatic behaviors and wake you up to how you are behaving.

In addition, the group leader will often discourage you from indulging in these types of habitual behaviors and unhealthy re-enactments too frequently. He/She wants you to experience yourself in new ways instead of in repetitive automatic types of reactions.

13. I’ve had painful experiences in my family and other groups, so I fear that group therapy will re-stimulate old painful memories and emotions.

Yes, these types of uncomfortable reactions can happen in group and they may have unexpectedly occurred to you before in other settings.

Most people have suffered some negative and painful experiences in the past within some type of group. But remember, these reactions are not life threatening. They are emotionally painful and may be frightening but they can usually be contained and controlled within the group setting with the other members.

To heal, sometimes you need to confront old memories and emotional triggers head-on. If you avoid dealing with them, they will continue to disrupt your life and self-esteem. Working on old painful emotional triggers within the group setting can be very helpful, relieving and healing. It will take courage but you will gain better perspective, self-control and peace of mind.

14. People are not trustworthy and therefore they will not be honest or helpful. 

If you feel that other people are not honest or cannot be trusted, then you may have thoughts that stem from past disappointments or trauma or a chemical imbalance in your brain. If you are convinced that others are not trustworthy, then I doubt you would seek group therapy. You would probably feel more comfortable taking psychiatric medicine and engaging in individual therapy.

However, if you have some doubt about about your suspicions and actually do trust some people who you believe are honest, then welcome to group therapy! There is no better way to challenge and test persistent faulty or fearful beliefs than by interacting with other group members over an extended period of time. Within the group meetings you will discover whether or not your belief about people is true or false.

If you can bear it, the group will likely challenge your premises and help you to begin to trust others. Hopefully, the group experience will force you to be honest and trustworthy yourself and compel you to share yourself instead of being fearful, self-contained, secretive and lonely.

 

To read the final article in this 6-part series, “Misconceptions about Group Therapy”, click the link below:         http://www.drrevelmiller.com/2019/12/misconceptions-about-group-therapy-part-vi/

For more blog articles about group psychotherapy, click the link below:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/category/group-therapy/

To find out more about my group therapy services, click the link below:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/group-therapy/

For more information about my groups, call me for a brief consult at 805-448-5053.

 

Note: This is Part IV of a 6-part series of blog articles. Here I introduce 3 more reasons for reluctance to join a therapy group. In the preceding article, entitled “Misconceptions about Group Therapy, Part III”, I presented 3 other reasons for this reluctance.

16 Misconceptions about Group Therapy 

Below, I will attempt to debunk 3 more of the distortions about process therapy groups:

8. I have to choose between either individual or group therapy.

This is true only if you cannot afford the time or financial investment in both therapies simultaneously. Individual and group sessions are not mutually exclusive unless you determine that you cannot participate in both at the same time.

A good percentage of group members also engage in individual therapy. Many clients participate and thrive in both settings. In fact, many therapists suggest that members get involved in both therapies. This combination can work to help clients make lasting progress. In individual therapy you can talk about your group experiences and in group you can disclose what you are working on in your individual sessions. For many people, this combination is the most powerful therapeutic leverage of psychotherapy.

9. Because there are multiple participants in a group, I will not get enough individualized attention.

It is true that your personal issues will not be focused on as much as they would be in individual therapy. You may not get as much time to discuss a problem in depth in a group.

However, you can initiate discussion about your current challenges and receive feedback from multiple people. You may receive perspectives that you or your therapist may never have thought about before. And, others may share how they have a similar dilemma and you will learn how they deal with it.

Sometimes an individual member will receive a lot of time directed toward them and their issue in a group session. Other members may relate to your topic, identify with it, learn from it and have a lot to say about it. We have many similar issues to discuss with one another.

Some topics are “hot” and stir-up more emotion and interaction than others. By listening to others, you may uncover issues within yourself that you were never aware of.

10. I will get a lot of good advice from the group leader and members.

People who desire admission into group psychotherapy to address their personal problems often expect that they will get a lot of helpful advice and direction from the leader and the other members. They seek recommendations on how to conduct their life and how to make desired changes.

Actually, in process therapy groups, most leaders encourage the members not to give direct advice to one another. Members can openly share their opinions, say how they solved problems in the past, or declare what they would do if they were in another member’s position, but they should not give direct advice about what to do or how to handle a situation unless the member solicits suggestions.

Leaders usually want to minimize advice-giving and emphasize sharing and exploring personal feelings, experiences, thoughts, memories, troubles, confusions, dilemmas and not to give out advice. It is not the role of the members to “fix” one another. For many members, to not give advice is a challenge because they are in the habit of often handing out suggestions to others.

Why no advice?

There are several reasons to minimize advice-giving in therapy groups: First, because most people don’t appreciate or follow unsolicited advice. Second, all members are in a group to work out their own unique personal problems, not to have their issues solved by others. Third, the group and its members do not gathered together to “fix” one another. They are there to help one another explore themselves and their options, to discover new things about themselves and to practice new behaviors. Fourth, giving advice often diverts the conversation away from the member’s struggle and their feelings that surround the problem focused on. It may be more valuable for members to listen and to allow the individual member to discover their own solutions and to talk openly about their attempts to solve the problem.

 

 

To read the next blog article in this 6-part series, “Misconceptions about Group Therapy, Part V”, click the link below:  http://www.drrevelmiller.com/2019/12/misconceptions-about-group-therapy-part-v/

 

For more blog articles about group psychotherapy, click the link below:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/category/group-therapy/

To find out more about my group therapy services, click the link below:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/group-therapy/

For more information about my therapy groups, call me for a brief consult at 805-448-5053.

Note: This is Part III of a 6-part series of blog articles. Here I introduce 2 more reasons for reluctance to join a therapy group. In the preceding article, entitled “Misconceptions about Group Therapy, Part II”, I presented 3 reasons for this reluctance.

 

16 Misconceptions about Group Therapy 

Below, I will address 2 more of the distorted  preconceptions about process therapy groups:

6. I am lonely and I can make friends in a group.

Many people join a group because they are struggling with some problems and they may feel isolated and lonely. They may be looking for a way out of their loneliness and desire to interact with others and make friendships.  To have supportive friendships and receive social support from peers is a natural and positive urge.

However, in process therapy groups, becoming social friends with other members outside the group sessions is usually discouraged by the leader. In the participation agreement or ground rules, new members must often commit to restraining themselves from having social contact with members outside of the group meetings.

Leaders encourage members to come together as “growth buddies” or “agents of help” within the group setting but to refrain from socializing by phone, email, text or face-to-face in the community.

Inevitably, two members will accidently run into one another in public. In many group contract agreements, members commit to not forming social relationships with other members and to report these incidental encounters outside the therapy sessions to the group and process how it felt to see one another in an public setting.

Over the years, experienced group leaders have determined that this “social abstinence” is a helpful policy for a number of good reasons. Members are surprised to hear this requirement but they usually follow through with it. Through this agreement, all participants remain more objective, strive less to be liked, and form fewer protective alliances within the group.

Often, group members do not know one another’s last names or where they live or work. But when they come together as a group, they trust and respect one another as “therapeutic friends.”

In psychotherapy process groups, socializing is often discouraged. However, in time-limited psycho-educational groups, socializing is often encouraged. Attending a short-term group for 4 to 12 sessions that discusses focused topics presented by the leader is often better for friend-making outside the group. Also, open drop-in groups, like Alcoholics Anonymous, encourage making supportive social friendships among the participants.

7. Individual therapy works faster and is more effective since I do not have to share time with so many others.

There is no evidence to support the premise that individual therapy works or solves problems faster than group therapy. In addition, there is no research that suggests that individual therapy is more effective than group therapy. Both individual and group therapies can be effective.

The outcomes can be similar or equal depending upon the client’s needs and capabilities. Some may benefit more from individual therapy while others may benefit more from a group experience. At the outset of treatment, it is difficult to determine exactly which method will be more powerful and helpful.

Therapists must judge whether they believe a new therapy candidate may respond better to individual or group therapy. It is not uncommon for a client to start with one modality of therapy and then to transition to the other modality. Plus, many group members also participate in individual therapy and vice versa.

Group members learn a great deal by listening to other’s issues. The group experience can be quite dynamic and powerful while discussing a personal dilemma or listening to others’ problems and feedback. In process groups, all members are constantly “processing” ideas and emotions within themselves and are engaged in an “interactional process” with one another. Often, getting feedback from peers can be more powerful and validating than receiving feedback and direction from an individual therapist.

One important benefit of group therapy is that the members realize that they have much in common with other people. They discover that they need not feel alienated, strange, lonely or odd and that they experience emotions and thoughts just like others do. Their behaviors, feelings and conclusions are very similar. This experience does not occur as easily in individual therapy.

The discovery of their commonality can be very healing and inspiring and generalize to their relationships outside the group. Group members often tend to become more accepting and understanding of themselves and others after listening to members share and process their issues.

So, without sacrificing quality care, group members can make progress as they do in individual therapy.

 

To read the next blog article in this 6-part series, “Misconceptions about Group Therapy, Part III”, click the link below: http://www.drrevelmiller.com/2019/12/misconceptions-about-group-therapy-part-iv/

 

For more blog articles about group psychotherapy, click the link below:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/category/group-therapy/

To find out more about my group therapy services, click the link below:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/group-therapy/

For more information about my groups, call me for a brief consult at 805-448-5053.

Note: This is Part II of a 6-part series of blog articles. Here I introduce 3 more reasons for reluctance to join a therapy group. In the preceding article, entitled “Misconceptions about Group Therapy, Part I”, I presented 2 other reasons for this reluctance.

 

 

16 Misconceptions about Group Therapy 

Below, I will attempt to dispel 3 more of the unrealistic myths about process therapy groups:

3. In group therapy, the leader provides individual therapy in front of the other members.

At the outset, many potential group members believe that the group therapist is in charge of all the communication in the group. However, in a process group, the group leader encourages the members to speak freely and directly to one another. It is basically an open interaction forum.

Some leaders are more verbal and directive than others. Although leaders interact with group members and make some significant comments, interpretations or suggestions, they do not dominate the discussions. All members have the freedom to say whatever they are moved to say. They can engage the other members in their own individual way.

No experienced or well-trained process group therapist ever tries to do individual therapy with a single member while the other members act as a powerless, uninvolved and speechless audience. The leader would not devote an exorbitant amount of time to one member. He/She would encourage the others to actively get involved in all discussions.

The group therapist’s demanding and complex job is to pay attention to: 1) each individual, 2) the interactions between members and 3) the emotional atmosphere of the entire group as a whole.

4. Because I’m shy, I’ll never be able to open-up in a group setting.

In the beginning, everyone in the group will feel anxious until they get to know one another better. Then, as they address more sensitive or shameful topics, members become less fearful that others will judge them harshly. Eventually, all participants become more comfortable in talking and sharing openly.

Some group members are shy or more introverted than others. So, it takes them longer to adjust to speaking-up and sharing their opinions, emotions and struggles. Once they feel safer and realize that the other participants are genuinely there to support one another and not judge them, they feel more relaxed and comfortable disclosing sensitive issues.

Although members are not coerced into talking, they will eventually start sharing in order to be a more a transparent participant with their peers. Some members may talk more than others and at times the leader will draw-out the quieter ones or ask dominating members to listen more.

All members need to be patience with one another and gradually build their trust and comfort with their peers. As commonalities emerge among the members, relating to one another becomes easier and less stressful. Shy members often surprise themselves by discovering how much they have to share and how much valuable feedback they receive in group therapy.

5. Joining a therapy group will trigger too much anxiety in me.

Joining a group activates anxiety in all new incoming members. There is no way around this reality because we are all concerned about how people perceive us. We all want to be accepted and liked. But when joining a new group of strangers, we get paranoid and feel we may be disliked, disrespected or not good enough. Usually, this initial anxiety decreases over time after participating and disclosing sensitive experiences.

There are bound to be reactions, topics or memories that you reveal in group that will trigger anxiety. This, too, is natural. Some of these anxious reactions may be very acute and painful but this condition usually subsides to a tolerable level before the close of the group session.

A high spike in anxiety usually does not last too long unless you have a history of suffering with panic attacks, phobias or other anxiety disorders.

To read the next blog article in this 6-part series, “Misconceptions about Group Therapy Part III”, click the link below: 

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/2019/12/misconceptions-about-group-therapy-part-iii/

 

For more blog articles about group psychotherapy, click the link below:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/category/group-therapy/

To find out more about my group therapy services, click the link below:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/group-therapy/

For more information about my groups, call me for a brief consult at 805-448-5053.

Note: This is Part I of a 6-part series of blog articles. Here I introduce the first 2 reasons for reluctance to join a therapy group. In the next article, entitled “Misconceptions about Group Therapy, Part II”, I present 2 more reasons for this reluctance.

 

Incorrect Beliefs about Process Therapy Groups

As around the globe, in the psychology world, “alternative facts” exist, too. For example, there are countless misconceptions and erroneous jokes about psychotherapy, therapists and clients. Group therapy is a frequent topic of confusion. It is often satirized and misrepresented in our popular culture.

Process vs Psycho-Educational Therapy Groups

In this 6-part series of blog articles, I will address misconceptions about “process therapy groups” only. In process groups, clients are responsible to bring in topics to discuss and to respond to other members. Process groups are interactional and interpersonal in nature as individuals are encouraged to speak out and openly share their thoughts, feelings and reactions to one another. It is a more open format of discussion and the leader is not responsible to present topics to discuss. Process groups are usually ongoing or open-ended without an end date or set number of sessions.

There are also “psycho-educational therapy groups” in which there is a focus topic to discuss and learn about. The leader is responsible to address the main topic and educate the members about certain related issues. The leader will usually encourage the members to talk about the topic and facilitate the discussion. Members of these groups are in a more receptive or educational mode and not responsible to bring into the group their personal topics to discuss. During psycho-educational groups, leaders will also provide exercises for participants to engage in and to share their personal experiences related to the exercise.  And, at times, the psycho-educational therapy group may also devote time to openly sharing personal experiences related to the topics and interacting among one another. In addition, psycho-educational therapy groups are usually time-limited with a set end date or number of sessions.

All of the “misconceptions” addressed below apply mainly to “process therapy groups” although some of these issues also apply to “psycho-educational groups”. There is some overlap between these two different types of therapy groups.

Misconceptions Hold People Back from Joining Groups

Unfortunately, these faulty notions create doubt and anxiety which translates into hesitation and avoidance in potentially good group therapy candidates who then miss out on a proven method of healing. If your expectations and assumptions about something are negative, then you and others will not venture into a questionable experience.

A number of people never try group therapy because of their ambivalence and resistance stimulated by misconceptions.

Misconceptions can rapidly gain traction. As Winston Churchill once said, “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”

 

16 Misconceptions about Group Therapy

Below, I will debunk and attempt to dispel many of the distorted and unrealistic myths about process therapy groups. Here I will present the first 2 misconceptions:

1. I will be pressured to reveal dark and embarrassing secrets to strangers.

Therapy groups always start out with a number of strangers but within a reasonable number of sessions you will feel connected to, supported by and more trusting of the leader and members. The interactions among members and the unfamiliar group discussions will become more comfortable.

In group therapy, you have control over how much you choose to share. You are in charge of how much you want to reveal, when to start and when to stop sharing. As the group bond develops and you feel more attached to certain members, you will personally begin to feel validated by their listening and feedback. As you listen to them, provide comments and receive feedback, you will begin to learn, grow and feel more comfortable.

In process groups, members are not forced to share or disclose secrets. Group leaders may encourage members to speak out more but they do not coerce members to speak about shameful events or painful feelings and memories.  Although we learn and grow from taking risks by revealing our shame and secrets, each member decides when they are ready to disclose sensitive information to the others.

2. I will lose my privacy because the group members will repeat what I disclose in group to others outside the group.

Often, potential group participants and existing group members fear that the other members will leak information about them to other non-members in their local community. They fear that their privacy and confidentiality will be broken, exposing their identity and the content of what they have shared about themselves to others outside the group.

In actuality, this breach of confidentiality very seldom happens among group members. They have a common agreement about keeping confidentiality as does the leader. In most process groups, before being admitted into the group by the leader, all members agree to a set of rules pertaining to the group. Agreeing not to talk about the others outside of group meetings is a common requirement and potential members will not be admitted into the group by the leader unless they commit to this ground rule.

This basic agreement is a verbal commitment, like a contract, and some agreements are written and signed by each member before joining. Through this commitment, the members feel protected and safe to reveal sensitive personal memories, feelings, experiences and thoughts. Without this type of direct commitment by all members, the individual members may never feel safe enough to reveal private, shameful or embarrassing information about themselves.

 

Wouldn’t a Therapy Group Feel Somewhat Familiar to You?

Human beings experience most of their learning and growth in group settings. Groups are natural and familiar to all children and adults. From early childhood, we develop psychologically within different types of groups, such as families, classrooms, friends, clubs, teams, workplaces and social networks. Part of you will feel at ease and may crave the group support and belonging.

Learn More

The good news is that many of our fears and concerns about group therapy are exaggerated or distorted. The track record speaks for itself. Group therapy can be very effective for some people. Participating in therapy groups is not as frightening or anxiety-producing as most people believe they are.

If you’re interested in joining a therapy group, call me and ask what groups I currently offer and whether I have openings for new members. If I have an opening, I will invite you to meet with me alone for more information. If there are no current openings or groups that match your needs, I can put you on my “Wait List.”

To read the next blog article in this 6-part series, “Misconceptions about Group Therapy, Part II”, click the link below:  http://www.drrevelmiller.com/2019/12/misconceptions-about-group-therapy-part-ii/

 

For more blog articles about group psychotherapy, click the link below:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/category/group-therapy/

To find out more about my group therapy services, click the link below:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/group-therapy/

If you are interested in joining a therapy group, please call me at 805-448-5053 for more information.

Note: This is Part III of a four-part series of blog articles. Here I will introduce 2 more reasons for reluctance to join a therapy group. In the 2 preceding and 1 follow-up articles, entitled “Why Are People Reluctant to Join Group Therapy? Part I, Part II and Part IV”, I present the other 6 reasons for this reluctance.

 

8 Reasons Why People Are Reluctant to Join a Therapy Group

Below are 2 additional common reasons why people are reluctant to join group therapy:

5. Belief that other members do not have the ability to help them

Many people believe that other group members cannot help them. They often assume that others don’t have the insight, sensitivity or training to give them positive or helpful feedback. Upon entry into the group, they may not have faith in others’ insights and perceptions. This is a common yet erroneous belief.

When we have troubles, who do we usually talk with? Our friends, family members or ordinary people who we trust, right? So, over time, group members become trusted friends as well. They get involved in each others’ problems and support one another’s attempts to change and grow. Often, the other group members become more enabled to give us gems of insight and feedback than most friends, lovers and family members.

You don’t have to be a professionally trained therapist to sense others’ emotions and thoughts. This skill is heightened with experience during group sessions and in getting to know other members on a deeper level over time. In fact, members can often be more supportive and helpful than the therapist because they become important to the recipient of the feedback.

When group members feel safe and protected in the group setting, they can become more honest, bold and direct in their responses. The members are there to help one another and they know and appreciate that unique situation. The discussions, therefore, are seldom superficial and tend to be deeper and more genuine.

6. Fear that past negative experiences will replicate in a therapy group

We all grew up within a number of different types of groups. In fact, as humans and mammals, we are “pack animals”. We are wired for interaction among our own kind and we are attracted to groups in order to survive, learn tasks and accomplish goals. Most of us thrive in groups and avoid being alone or isolated for very long. We select mates, friends and live with family, join clubs and associations, and participate on teams.

However, for many of us, we have been hurt within groups as well. And, we remember these infractions and violations and the pain it cost us. So, if the pain was more powerful than the joy and pleasure of being a group participant over our lifetime, then we may be resistant or suspicious about joining another group in fear that the same type of negative experience will re-occur in a therapy group. We don’t want to take the chance of re-enacting painful events that took place in our families and other past groups.

So, because of our assumptions and anxiety of negative reenactment, we withdraw or resist and are hesitant to join group therapy. We allow the past to dominate and re-occur again in the future. In other words, we got burned and we aren’t going to give it a chance to happen again. So, we hem and haw and then we sometimes decide against joining a therapy group or we reluctantly enter the group with caution, suspicion and a self-protective stance. We expect that we may get psychologically injured in the group.

 

Challenging and Changing This Trend

The most important counterpoint is the proven reality that most of the above fears never materialize. In addition, it’s crucial for folks to consider that group therapy is an excellent choice for:

• Working on developing interpersonal skills
• Honing your communication skills
• Finding solace among others dealing with similar issues
• Being accountable for creating the changes you seek
• Hearing a wider range of feedback from several perspectives

Another very important factor is cost. Since your therapist is seeking at least 4 people per session, your cost for therapy is decreased. This can make the difference between comfortably affording therapy or not.

 

To read Part IV of “Why Are People Reluctant to Join Group Therapy?”, click the link below:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/2019/12/why-are-people-reluctant-to-join-group-therapy-part-iv/

 

You can read my other blog articles about “Group Therapy” by clicking the link below:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/category/group-therapy/

To learn more about my “Group Therapy” services, click on this link:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/group-therapy/

 

Are you interested in joining a therapy group? Call me soon to schedule an initial consultation session – 805-448-5053.

 

Note: This is Part II of a four-part series of blog articles. Here I will introduce 2 more of the reasons for reluctance to join a therapy group. In the 1 preceding and 2 follow-up articles, entitled “Why Are People Reluctant to Join Group Therapy? Part I, Part III and Part IV”, I present the other 6 reasons for this reluctance.

8 Reasons Why People Are Reluctant to Join a Therapy Group

Below are 2 more common reasons why people are reluctant to join a psychotherapy group:

3. Fear of being criticized and confronted by other members

Yes, most new entrants into a therapy group and some old-timers in the group as well fear being criticized and confronted by the others. But the members are encouraged to share their feelings, thoughts and opinions with each other. And yes, at times some may be critical of their fellow members. They may express their criticism directly and also why they hold that criticism.

Some group leaders encourage members to confront one another, not to pretend, cower away, remain silent or hold-in their reactions. Conscientiously sharing opinions and direct comments are encouraged.  Confrontation is simply facing a real issue or asking a difficult question. It is not necessarily negative, critical or destructive. Confrontation is sharing a real feeling or thought and it can be a disturbing and negative experience or uplifting and positive.

This is “straight talk” and the receiver is responsible to judge whether the information shared is positive or negative, hurtful or helpful, distorted or realistic. That member can react automatically or consider what is being said to them and judge whether it is helpful or not. In group process, the receiver of the confrontation can decide whether to take it in, be quiet and protect themselves, or fire back in retaliation.

Fortunately, confrontational statements are usually quite helpful and the receiving member usually considers what has been said in a thoughtful way. Criticisms and confrontations are not always humiliating or rejecting and the recipients are not always crushed. Instead, group members begin to manage both types of interactions in healthier ways, to take advantage of feedback, and learn that their imagined fears are not always accurate. So, they become more open and secure within themselves.

Other than in group therapy, where else are people encouraged to share real thoughts and feelings?

4. Fear of loss of confidentiality outside the group by the other members

People who contemplate joining a group are often concerned that the other members will “leak” or reveal their personal and embarrassing information into their community. They fear that their confidentiality and privacy will be violated if they join a group.

Most professional group therapy leaders are either licensed by their state or under supervision by a licensed mental health profession. These professionals and associates are held to strict ethical principles and laws about confidentiality. So, most newcomers trust the therapy leaders because they are bound to a set of ethics and could lose their license if they ever broke confidentiality without a patient’s permission.

But why would some ordinary group members hold their tongues? Well first of all, it is a mutual desire among all of the members. Each member holds his tongue out of respect but also because they expect the others to hold their tongues as well. Second, in order to join most therapy groups, each new member is required to agree not to disclose personal information outside about any other members. They commit and hold to this agreement.

Most importantly, however, group members almost never talk about the other members to outsiders because they respect and honor each other. They make their own personal decision and commitment to protect the group and the individual members in it. This is like a vow of honor that members make to themselves and they take pride in it and seldom struggle to contain themselves when tempted.

Breaches of confidentiality are a rare incident and I have never known of a violation by a member within one of my groups and my colleague group leaders have never shared with me that they had to deal with an infraction within one of their therapy groups.

How to Take the First Step

It’s normal to feel anxious about joining a group. Therefore, it makes sense to go directly to the source for more information. Schedule a consultation with me. Ask all your questions and voice all your concerns. In turn, I will educate you about group therapy so that you can make an informed decision about whether or not group psychotherapy may be helpful for you. Our consultation could be the game-changer you need to take a life-altering step.

 

To read the next article is this 4-part series, Part III of “Why Are People Reluctant to Join Group Therapy?”, click the link below:  http://www.drrevelmiller.com/2019/12/why-are-people-reluctant-to-join-group-therapy-part-iii/

 

Read other blog articles about “Group Therapy” by clicking the link below:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/category/group-therapy/

Learn more about my “Group Therapy” services by clicking on the link below:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/group-therapy/

 

 

Are you interested in possibly joining a therapy group? Call me soon to schedule an initial phone consultation session – 805-448-5053.

 

Note: This is Part I of a four-part series of blog articles. Here I will introduce 2 of the reasons for reluctance to join a therapy group. In the 3 follow-up articles, entitled “Why Are People Reluctant to Join Group Therapy? Part II, Part III and Part IV”, I will present the remaining 6 reasons for this reluctance.

 

Why Do People Hesitate to Join a Therapy Group?

Everyone draws their own line in the sand and sets their own personal limits. We are controlled by our own strong opinions and personal values and judgments. For most people, group therapy lies on the other side of the line in the “forbidden zone”. Plus, many people have a strong bias or prejudice against psychotherapy in general.

Usually these opinions and beliefs are based on fear, little knowledge and no direct experience. Many of their fears, opinions and beliefs may be faulty and they certainly limit their own experiences and lives. It is sad to know that people limit themselves so much and by doing so they often prolong their pain and problems.

Group Psychotherapy vs Individual Psychotherapy

Group therapy is a bonafide psychological method of psychotherapy and years of research has proven that for many clients group therapy can be as or more effective than individual therapy.

Although many clients prefer individual therapy sessions over group sessions and believe that individual counseling is a superior method of therapy, many group members get positive results from their participation in group sessions. They benefit and overcome nagging problems and persistent complaints. Groups can be very powerful in getting desired results.

Even though group members earn positive outcomes and the fears associated to group therapy are usually exaggerated and unrealistic, why are people so reluctant to join a therapy group?

 

8 Reasons Why People Are Reluctant to Join a Psychotherapy Group

Of course, everyone has their own set of reasons why they are leery and refuse to join a group. Below are the first 2 common reasons why people are reluctant to join:

1. Fear of exposing shameful past behaviors and biased beliefs

In psychotherapy groups, members need to reveal why they are in group, what brought them there. It is imperative that participants are open and honest and disclose to one another what they are struggling with and what their group goals are. They present their background history, their current status and why they believe they are challenged. How can each participant, the group leader or the other members ever provide help or determine if they have made progress in therapy if they don’t reveal this information?

And yes, sharing includes their shameful behaviors, thoughts and feelings. It also includes revealing their embarrassing prejudicial beliefs and opinions. How can  the individuals in the group make significant progress if they are not being genuine and open with one another?

Most men and women are afraid of being judged and criticized, shunned or disliked because of their past and present experiences, behaviors and values. Most early entrants into group therapy want to impress and be liked by the other members. But groups are not like typical social meetings. Members are purposefully there to expose themselves and to be vulnerable, not to cover-up, pretend, look good and fool the other participants.

Taking risks and being courageous enough to be seen and heard are the best and fastest ways to grow and change. Challenging and confronting our fears stimulates self-development and personal freedom. Getting their shameful past behaviors and experiences out into the open with others is our highway to health and change.

So, sharing shameful experiences and biased beliefs is exactly what is wanted in a group of members committed to their own psychological development. Without this exposure and courage, they will not grow.

2. Convinced that other members will not accept or support them

Most new men and women members in a therapy group assume that the other members will reject them and withdraw from them if they ever knew how awful they have been and how despicable their beliefs are. This expectation is common. During their life time, they have learned what not to share because they have received negative feedback in the past.

However, in a serious therapy group, members are encouraged to be vulnerable and to risk being rejected and criticized, to test whether or not they will be accepted and supported.

Usually, in the group therapy environment, members reveal ugly, distorted and embarrassing things about themselves but seldom do they get rejected or criticized as they had feared. They are usually supported, acknowledged and admired by the other members for their courage in exposing themselves. After testing their fear a few times, they appreciate the other group members and develop a safe place to go where they can be more authentic and feel nurtured by other wounded souls.

Men and women group participants fear that they will expose their real thoughts and feelings, like superficiality, fear, anger, guilt, defenselessness, depression, confusion, paranoia, humiliation, aggression, inability to trust that we deem to be inadequacies in us. Most new members also fear exposing their feelings of loneliness, alienation and inability to find supportive allies in the group.

Many members get angry easily and express their intolerance outside of the group meetings. They often fear allowing others to see this because they judge anger and negative emotions as weaknesses that are shameful. We fear that we will not fit or be accepted into the “club”.

 

You can read Part II of “Why are People Reluctant to Join Group Therapy?” by clicking the link below:  http://www.drrevelmiller.com/2019/12/why-are-people-reluctant-to-join-group-therapy-part-ii/

 

You can read my other blog articles about “Group Therapy” by clicking the link below:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/category/group-therapy/

To learn more about my “Group Therapy” services, click on this link:    

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/group-therapy/

 

Are you interested in joining a therapy group? Call me soon to schedule an initial consultation session – 805-448-5053.