Categories
Couples/Marital Issues Infidelity/Affairs

What’s the Impact of Infidelity?

Is Your Marriage/Relationship Resilient Enough?

Can your marriage rebound from an affair? If you found out that your spouse or lover was romantically involved with another person, would that end your relationship? Or, could you both work hard to re-build and re-kindle it.

Don’t under-estimate the damage done to a marriage or relationship by an affair and how long it takes to recover. Betrayal of trust is a very significant violation to the hurt partner and recovery takes time.

Are you both strong enough to take the shock and repair your relationship on your own? Or do you need  therapy for infidelity?

What Are the Possible Impacts of Infidelity?

Below are some psychological, social and physical damage areas that you need to consider and prepare for. An affair can disturb and carry-over into all parts of your life.

Are you both able to survive the potential psychological, social and physical impacts of:

  1. Shock & psychological wounding
  2. Shattered relationship trust
  3. Anger & blame
  4. Resentment & insecurity
  5. Guilt & shame
  6. Depression & anxiety
  7. Lost self-esteem & self-confidence
  8. Emotional instability
  9. Withdrawal of love & affection
  10. Separation & divorce
  11. Hatred & revenge
  12. Loneliness & isolation
  13. Damage to children & nuclear family
  14. Upset friends & extended family relationships
  15. Career damage
  16. Lowered lifestyle
  17. Psychological impairment
  18. Physical/Medical illness

What Happens to Relationships After an Affair?

As you can see from the list above, infidelity has the potential to reach wide and deep. An affair can impact many different aspects of an individual, couple or family’s life. They affect people emotionally, mentally, socially and within the family context. It can lead in many different directions and it has the potential to impact all aspects of a relationship and family. The outcome can vary.

For most U. S. citizens, an affair is considered to be taboo behavior because this behavior goes against our customary beliefs about right and wrong within relationships. An affair is often taken as a serious cultural violation of the marriage and the family. Infidelity is usually not expected and relationships, whether a marriage or a love relationship, are based on trust and commitment.

Many couples survive an affair and improve their relationships. However, affairs can often be quite destructive to individuals, couples, children and families, adults take risks and infidelity is not that uncommon.

What about the Children?

No matter how young or old your kids are, the affair will have a definite emotional impact on them. They will find out, make judgments and never forget it. Your kids will flow in the direction that you both handle the affair – positively or negatively, rebound or collapse.

How do you think they would react to discovering that one of their parents had an affair? Would the impact be temporary or a significant psychological scarring? It would definitely effect them in a deep way. Should you tell them?

What can Be Done to Prevent Unnecessary Damage?

After the affair is discovered, there are a number of things that you can do to make sure further damage is not inflicted:

  1. Decide whether or not you can reconcile the betrayal. Can you recover and commit to healing the wound?
  2. If you choose to work toward recovery, both partners must commit to being transparent and honest. Can the unfaithful one stop lying, deceiving and keeping secrets?
  3. The cheating partner must sever all ties with their affair person, become accountable and demonstrate remorse. Can you cut it off, become responsible for your past behavior and be truly sorry for the damage you have done?
  4. Allow the betrayed partner to express their feelings and give them acceptance, support and time to heal. Put no pressure on them to rush toward forgiving. They will “get over it” when they are ready, on their timeline. Can you be patient and take the intensity of their rage, disbelief and questions?
  5. Refrain from becoming impulsively revengeful and “getting even”. Can you hold back and not allow yourself to lash out and make others suffer?
  6. Find an infidelity therapist and commit to working things out and reviving your relationship. Therapy will help you manage the process of recovery and the intense emotions and accusations. Can you hold on, listen better and communicate on a deeper level?
  7. Both partners must eventually accept responsibility for the affair. Can you both own your contributions and rebuild your relationship?
  8. Trust the therapy experience to guide you through some very tough experiences. Can you both hang on, learn from this experience and slowly begin to revive your partnership?

If you can commit to these 8 suggestions above, then you will have a chance to successfully rekindle and improve your relationship.

 

See my other blog articles categorized as “Infidelity”.

To know more about my “Therapy for Infidelity” services, click on this web page:  http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/therapy-for-infidelity/

 

If your relationship problems seem insurmountable, Please Give Me a Call – 805-448-5053. Perhaps I can guide you and your partner toward a happier future.

Categories
Infidelity/Affairs

What Is Infidelity?

Are Affairs Common in the USA?

Infidelity is a frequent plot point in books, movies and streaming TV. Many of us are fascinated by it and imagine that it’s something that happens to other people – secretly hoping that it will never happen to us. Some affairs are never uncovered and many are covered up by a couple due to shame and guilt. Therefore, infidelity seems to be rare and most of us believe that we would never “cheat” and neither, of course, would our spouse.

Yet, the numbers tell a far different story.

Studies show that as many as 40 percent of married men and 25 percent of married women will have at least one secret extramarital affair in their lifetime. In fact, some men and women have multiple affairs.

With digital technology now making it possible to be “unfaithful” in a variety of ways, it’s just not safe anymore to assume that you will not and cannot go astray or be victimized. Because of the level of ease and frequency with communication technologies, therapy for infidelity has risen nationwide.

What Exactly Is Infidelity?

In common usage, the word “infidelity” is associated to monogamous marriages and typically describes a partner’s secretive sexual interaction with someone other than their partner. Webster’s New World College Dictionary defines infidelity as “unfaithfulness or disloyalty to another.”

These definitions still hold true today for most people however these definitions only represent one slice of a larger pie. Infidelity usually refers to a sexual affair or violation of a marital commitment or expectation. However, not all affairs, short or long-term, are ever sexually consummated. And, infidelity may involve marriages or non-marriage relationships.

But What about Monogamy?

There are many different ways to be “unfaithful”, to “cheat” or to “betray” your partner within marriages and long-term love and committed partnerships. In the Christian-based western world and the USA in particular, most partners assume and expect monogamy and faithfulness from their partner.

In today’s world, the terms “infidelity” and “affair” can include a number of different forbidden behaviors that threaten or fall outside the boundaries of established marriages and relationships. Couples and individual partners usually form, assume or depend upon their own set of relationship expectations, rules and tolerances. These assumptions about monogamy may have been openly discussed and agreed upon or not.

What Happens When an Affair Is Discovered?

Monogamy and honesty are usually expected by the vast majority of couples. That is why discovery of an affair often leads to a very strong reaction from the hurt partner. The psychological fracture in the assumption of fidelity and the discovery of their partner’s deception usually ignites a powerful negative reaction.

When infidelity is discovered or suspected, the hurt partner is usually outraged, emotionally destabilized and thrown into a crisis. Their world as they had known it usually screeches to a rapid halt

By the time the affair is found out, the unfaithful partner often minimizes the impact of their behavior and wonders why their hurt partner is so emotionally upset. Their original guilt and/or shame related to the affair may have eroded over time. Not until they detect the depth of their partner’s pain that they have caused by their unfaithful and deceptive behavior do they wake up again to the reality of the consequences of their violation.

Any of these long or short-term affairs have the power to derail any marriage or relationship no matter how strong the bond and trust appears to be. Most spouses and partners detest their partner having an intimate connection or spending personal time alone with another man or woman in any type of “romantic” or “erotic” way.

Types of Infidelity

Whether a long-term or a short-term affair is characterized by impassioned sex, a brief encounter, an impulsive act, an emotional bond or a meaningful connection, it has the power to derail or destroy any marriage or relationship no matter how strong the attachment and trust has been. Most spouses and partners detest their partner’s spending intimate connection or personal time with another woman or man. Sharing one’s self emotionally and/or physically with another is considered a violation of their relationship.

Here is a list of 11 different types of affairs a partner can engage in:

  1. Marital Affairs
  2. Sexual Affairs
  3. Emotional Affairs
  4. Mixed Emotional & Sexual Affairs
  5. Affairs of Passion
  6. Retaliation/Revenge Affairs
  7. Cyber/Internet/Online/Sexting/Social Media Affairs
  8. Philandering Affairs
  9. Loneliness Affairs
  10. Sexual Compulsion/Addiction Affairs
  11. Exit/Transition Affairs

Most of these types of affairs often create volatile reactions in the hurt or “victim” partner.

 

For more information about my Therapy for Infidelity, visit my web page at:  http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/therapy-for-infidelity/

I have also posted a number of articles about infidelity on this blog. You can find them by clicking on the blog article Category entitled “Infidelity/Affairs”.

 

If you want some focused and helpful therapy for infidelity, give me a call at 805-448-5053.

Categories
Depression

What Are the Causes of Depression?

Many People Suffer with Depression in the USA

Depression is a common disorder, which is growing in prevalence with each passing year. Each and every one of us suffers from sadness and grief in our lives — probably on a number of occasions throughout our lifetimes. It affects children, adults and senior citizens. It can be short-lived for a few months and fairly mild or it can become chronic and debilitating.

Up to 30 million people in the U.S. are currently diagnosed with a depressive disorder. It’s impossible to know how many millions of cases are not ever identified or diagnosed. Depression is one of the most common illnesses in the USA. This makes it all the more important for us to better understand this condition.

Effective depression treatment exists however what many folks want to know is why it occurs so frequently.

Why Do People Get Depressed?

Basically, there are 5 ways humans become depressed:

  1. Tragic Life Events: Many adults get depressed as a natural reaction to a painful event in our life. Experiences happen that affect us emotionally, mentally and physically in a depressive way. If the event is mild then the sadness lasts for a short time. Some stressful events accumulate over time and cause depression. However, some experiences are traumatic and overwhelming and they really set us back and disturb us psychologically for an extended period of time. Such stressful situations include divorce, death of a loved one, job loss or unemployment, relocating one’s home, loss of a friend, big disappointments, chronic or terminal illness or unexpected change. Some of these events may be rooted in childhood, such as abuse, neglect, deprivation, abandonment and other serious stressors.
  2. Chemical Reaction: A chemical imbalance or toxicity can occur in the brain and results in moderate or serious symptoms associated to depression mood.
  3. Inheritance: Genetics and family history can be a contributor. Depressive states can be biologically inherited and there can be a history of depression across generations within a family.
  4. Physical Illness: Medical illness can also set-off depression. A physical injury or disability, or a chronic or life-threatening illness can easily trigger a depression response.
  5. Drug and Medication Side Effects: Side-effects of medications and substance abuse (legal and illegal) can cause a chemically induced depression.

Two Basic Causes of Depression

As you can see, there are two distinct causes of depression:

  1. Some depressions are caused by physical and chemical reactions
  2. Other depressions may be caused by life experiences or psychological reactions

Differentiating Physical Depression from Psychological Depression

I am a psychologist and know more about psychological depressions. However, I need to know about the physical/chemical depressions as well because I need to be able to differentiate between the two causes of depression.

I have been trained in differential diagnosis of depression because different causes can determine different types of symptoms and treatment. I don’t want to be providing talk therapy for a person with a serious medical illness who needs medicine and physicians shouldn’t treat all depressions as a physical illness with psychiatric medications.

Most of these causes you have no control over. It may not be your fault and the cause of your depression may be challenging to understand or pinpoint.

 

For more information, read my other blog articles about Depression, including: What Are the Different Types of Depression?; How Do I Select a Therapist for My Depression?; How Do I Determine If I Need Depression Counseling?; How Do I Find Relief If I Am Depressed?; Why Is Depression So Common in the USA?; Is Depression a Common Problem in the USA?; How Does Depression Manifest Itself in Human Beings?; What Are the Signs and Symptoms of Major Depression?; What Are the Different Types of Depression?

 

Learn more about my Depression Counseling services here:  http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/depression-counseling/

 

I have had lots of experience diagnosing and treating people with depression. I’m here to help. Please don’t continue to suffer needlessly and Call Me Soon (805-448-5053) for a consultation.

Categories
Depression Emotions

What Are the Different Types of Depression?

Two Basic Causes of Depression

As I pointed out in another one of my blog articles,  there are basically 2 causes of depression: 1) Some depressions are caused by physical and chemical reactions while 2) others are stimulated by life experiences or psychological reactions.

Go here to read that blog article:  http://www.drrevelmiller.com/2019/10/what-are-the-causes-of-depression/

Below I will talk about the psychologically based depressions because that is what I know most about.

7 Common Types of Psychological Depression

There are a number of different types of psychological depression and you may have heard about some of them. Here is a list of 7 current diagnosable forms of depression with brief descriptions:

  1. Major Depressive Disorder

Also known as “clinical depression”, this is a serious form of depression that may present daily symptoms such as:

  • Prolonged depressed mood
  • Serious sadness and hopelessness
  • Frequent crying
  • Diminished interest or pleasure in most activities
  • Significant weight loss or gain
  • Insomnia or sleeping more than usual
  • Fatigue and loss of energy
  • Slow movement
  • Feelings of worthlessness or excessive guilt
  • Diminished ability to think, concentrate or make decisions
  • Recurrent thoughts of death
  • Suicidal ideas or attempts
  1. Persistent Depressive Disorder

This milder variation of Major Depressive Disorder presents with the same symptoms except the symptoms are less severe. This is a more common form of depression that we will all probably suffer from at some point in our lives.

  1. Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder

This depressive disorder presents with symptoms such as frequent temper outbursts and persistent irritability or anger. It is quite socially disabling and people with this disorder are disliked by others who may feel upset or damaged by their chronic critical ranting and explosiveness.

  1. Bipolar Disorder

Once commonly referred to as “Manic-Depressive Disorder”, this cyclic Bipolar Disorder involves extreme mood changes ranging from euphoria and elation to deeply depressive episodes. The manic or high energy period may include symptoms of: inflated self-esteem or grandiosity, decreased need for sleep, more talkative, racing thoughts, distractibility, increased goal activity, excessive movement and risky behaviors. When in an either manic or depressive cycle, this condition may creates serious impairments in daily functioning.

  1. Substance/Medication-Induced Depressive Disorder

This is a depressive mood disorder developed during or after substance/medication intoxication or withdrawal.

  1. Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder

Often referred to as “Pre-Menstrual Syndrome” or “PMS”, this disorder has many symptoms that arise before menses begins and disappear after the menstrual cycle is completed. This condition impacts women both physically and emotionally and makes the mood-related symptoms of depression more severe.

7. Unspecified Depressive Disorder

As the name implies, this variation of depression offers an atypical presentation. The symptoms are characteristic of a depressive disorder that impairs social, occupational and other forms of functioning but don’t meet the criteria for any of the other 6 depressive disorders.

Other Forms of Depression

Less common forms of depression may include: 1) a new mother’s Post-Partum Depression after an infant is born or 2) Seasonal Affective Disorder when a person reacts with depression to the loss of light during seasons with less sunlight.

Caution: Don’t Diagnose Yourself!

The above information is meant as a basic guideline. It is usually very difficult to accurately diagnose your own condition or its causes. To play it safe, consult with a mental health professional or a physician to determine what you are experiencing.

Selecting the appropriate treatment option depends entirely on your being assessed and diagnosed by a health professional who can then suggest an appropriate treatment approach. Treatment may include talk therapy, psychiatric medication or a combination of these two methods.

Therapy and Recovery

With effective therapy, you should be able to:

  • Experience relief
  • Feel your heavy mood lift
  • Restore your energy
  • Gain a positive perspective on life and yourself
  • Feel grateful to feel alive again

There are no quick fixes. Healing takes time. Recovery by psychotherapy, medication or a combination takes commitment and discipline. A skilled therapist with a specialty in depression can be a helpful diagnostician and guide to help you forge a path toward healing and recovery.

 

For more information about Depression, read some of my other blog articles with titles such as: What Are the Causes of Depression?; How Do I Select a Therapist for My Depression?; How Do I Determine If I Need Depression Counseling?; How Do I Find Relief If I Am Depressed?; Why Is Depression So Common in the USA?; Is Depression a Common Problem in the USA?; How Does Depression Manifest Itself in Human Beings?; What Are the Signs and Symptoms of Major Depression?

 

You can learn more about my Depression Counseling services by clicking this link below:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/depression-counseling/

 

I am experienced in diagnosing and treating people with depression. I may able to help so don’t needlessly continue to suffer. Call Me Soon at (805-448-5053) for a consultation.

Categories
Inspirational Quotes

Inspirational Quotations on Life

Life:

“For a long time it seemed to me that real life was about to begin, but there was always some obstacle in the way. Something had to be got through first, some unfinished business; time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.” – Bette Howland

 

“Life is ours to be spent, not to be saved.” – D.H. Lawrence

 

“My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.” – Oprah Winfrey

Categories
Group Therapy

Questions to Ask a Group Therapist When Deciding to Join

How Do I Start the Process of Selecting a Group Leader?

In a previous blog article entitled “How Do I Select a Group Therapist?”, I make suggestions on:

  • How to identify a group leader
  • How to gather information
  • Questions to ask the leader
  • How to make the decision whether or not to join a group

Click here to visit that article:  http://www.drrevelmiller.com/2019/10/how-do-i-select-a-group-therapist/

Combining the information in these two articles will make it easier for you to confidently select a group therapist who can help you or a loved one.

Meet a Leader Face-to-Face

It is my opinion that all professional group therapist should meet in-person with all potential group members before inviting them to join a group. This is particularly true if the group is an ongoing weekly process group. If it is a short-term educational group, like 4 to 8 session in length, then they may not need to meet with all members beforehand.

Here Are the Steps to Take to Consult In-Person with a Group Leader

  1. Make an appointment with the therapist
  2. Be ready with your own list of written questions to ask the group leader

In order to qualify you for a group, the therapist will probably have a set of their own questions to ask you about: your current problems, background, past experience in psychotherapy, medications, treatment goals, etc. Be prepared to listen to what they have to say about the group and answer their questions accurately. As you are evaluating them, they too are assessing whether or not you would be a good “match” for a group and could receive the results you are looking for.

Include the Following Important Questions on Your Written List

Ask the leader:

  • What is your training and experience in group leadership?
  • Have you led groups before?
  • How many groups have you led and what kinds of groups were they?
  • Have you personally experienced being a group therapy member?
  • What types of groups do you specialize in leading?
  • What type of leadership style do you have?
  • Will there be a co-leader working with you?
  • What is the role of the patients in the group? What do they do?
  • What type of patients is this group designed for?
  • How many members are in the group and what is the maximum size?
  • What are the expected patient benefits or results of the group therapy?
  • What type of topics do you discuss in the group sessions?
  • What can I do to ensure that I get the most out of my group participation?
  • Are all your group members required to commit to a contract or a set of expectations to follow? May I see a copy of that agreement?
  • Are there current openings in this group?
  • How do I join the group?

Confirm the following information about the group meetings:

  • Verify the cost of the sessions and the time and methods of payment
  • Verify if healthcare insurance can be submitted and reimbursed
  • Verify the name, place, day, time and start date
  • Verify the number and length of the group meetings
  • Verify if the group leader attends all of the sessions

The Job of the Group Therapist

The purpose of the group leader is to:

  • Attract and select appropriate members to join a group
  • Have expertise in the topics of discussion and problems focused on
  • Facilitate the group process
  • Connect with all of the members
  • Encourage group interaction amongst the members
  • Ensure that the group is a safe, trustworthy, cohesive and healing environment

To fulfill their purpose in the group, the therapist should have a depth of training, knowledge and experience as a leader.

In addition, it is a benefit if the therapist has personally participated as a member in a therapy group to know what it is like to be a group member.

The group therapist that you meet with should be proficient at helping you determine if a therapy group would work well for you. Only then should they invite you to join the group.

 

As an experienced group psychotherapist, I have a strong faith in the power of group therapy to help people change.

To learn more about my therapy groups, click on this link:  http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/group-therapy/

Call me at 805-448-5053 if you want to talk with me about group therapy.

Categories
Group Therapy

How Do I Select a Group Therapist?

Here’s a Little History about Group Therapy

Group therapy was developed in the mid 1940’s in the USA and became a more popular form of psychological treatment in the 1960’s. It’s a bona fide treatment modality and recognized by mental health professionals to be as effective as individual therapy for some children and adults.

Currently, group psychotherapy is practiced throughout the USA in various agencies, institutions, associations, clinics and in private practices and usually led by psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors and social workers.

How Do I Find Local Group Therapist?

You may have heard about group therapy but you may not know any group leaders. So, ask your physician, psychotherapists, counselors, friends and family members and call some mental health treatment facilities in your area.

By searching online for “therapy groups” and “group therapists” you should definitely find a number of groups and leaders. You will probably discover that psychologists, marriage and family therapists, and social workers provide most of the group work.

Contact the Group Therapy Leaders

After identifying some nearby potential groups and/or therapists, call the leaders of the groups you are interested in. Most group leaders are pleased to speak with potential new group members who are interested in joining a group.

Consult with the Leaders by Phone

Introduce yourself and why you are interested in group therapy. Tell them what you are personally struggling with and what you think you are looking for.

Ask the following preliminary questions by phone:

  • Do you currently lead a group?
  • What type of groups do you lead?
  • What is the focus of the group?
  • Do you have an opening in the group?
  • Might this group be a possible “fit” for me?
  • What is the cost of the group and how do you get paid?
  • Could my healthcare insurance cover some or all of my costs?
  • Do you have a flyer that describes the group that you could send to me?
  • If you don’t have a group for me, can you please refer me to another local agency or leader?
  • If I am a potential new group member, can I meet you in-person to learn more?

Request a Face-to-Face Meeting with a Group Therapist

After getting all the preliminary information and you believe that a group meets your needs, has an opening for a new member, and you are available when the group meets, then call the therapist and request an introductory consultation to gather more information. It is wise for you and for the leader to meet face-to-face before attending the group.

To see a helpful list of specific questions to ask a group therapist in a face-to-face consultation meeting, read my other blog article entitled “Questions to Ask a Group Therapist When Deciding to Join.” Click here to read the article:  http://www.drrevelmiller.com/2019/10/questions-to-ask-a-group-therapist-when-deciding-to-join/ 

How Do I Decide Whether or Not to Join a Group?

After meeting with the group leader, consider the following factors if you are seriously committed to joining a therapy group:

  • Is the leader compassionate, articulate and understanding?
  • Does he/she have enough experience as a group therapist?
  • Does the therapist command respect and embody the “presence” of a confident leader?
  • Do you trust the leader?
  • Do you feel like this group will fit your treatment needs and goals?
  • Can you regularly afford to pay for your group sessions?
  • Do you have any obstacles to regularly attending the group sessions?
  • Can you commit to the the group contract or set of rules and expectations?
  • Do you feel open and excited about participating in this group?

 

I consult on the phone about my groups, have descriptive flyers on my groups, and require that all potential new members meet in-person with me. If they want to join the group and if I invite them in, then each new member must agree to my set of rules and expectations about group behavior.

As an experienced group psychotherapist, I am here to help you and I have personally participated in a number of groups as a member. Most importantly, I have a firm belief in the power of group therapy to help people change.

 

To learn more about my therapy groups, click on this link:  http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/group-therapy/

If you are interested in talking with me about my groups, please call me at 805-448-5053.

Categories
Business Coaching

Could I Benefit from Business Coaching?

Why Would I Need a Coach?

If you have big business dreams, plans and goals and are concerned that you may not reach those objectives, then that is when a business coach may be the resource you need.

Generally, business coaching offers objective discussion, experienced guidance and practical support. Working together, you and your coach can more effectively and efficiently turn your attention away from unproductive worry and toward actions to attain your goals. Instead of fearing failure and disappointment, you’ll look at market realities and optimal solutions that can put you on the path to success.

All coaching clients have their own set of goals and many different types of benefits may be gained directly and indirectly from the coaching experience. Some outcomes are consciously aimed for while other results are an unintended by-product achieved along the way.

What Are the Benefits of Business Performance Coaching?

Here is a list of some common results from coaching: Which outcomes interest you?

  • Boost revenue and profits
  • Build self-confidence
  • Reach goals
  • Enhance productivity and efficiency
  • Reduce expenses and waste
  • Improve marketing and sales skills
  • Enhance planning skills and self-discipline
  • Build workplace morale and positive culture
  • Refine leadership style and communication skills
  • Develop successors and future leadership
  • Increase status in your industry or community
  • Reduce procrastination and getting side-tracked
  • Take on more responsibility with less stress
  • Improve delegation skills
  • Meet deadlines
  • Attract better employees
  • Improve management and executive skills
  • Transition easier into higher level positions
  • Improve team communication and productivity
  • Overcome obstacles, barriers and set-backs
  • Prevent losses and getting off-track
  • Reduce stress, isolation and fear
  • Manage unexpected changes and disappointments with resilience
  • Improve priority-setting, decision-making and risk-taking
  • Enhance negotiation skills
  • Become more creative

 What Results Would You Like to Earn?

From all those outcomes listed above, which ones attract you the most? Where do you need to grow and expand?

How would you feel if you achieved some of these benefits?

Bottom-Line When Hiring a Business Coach

Of course, you want to achieve some important goals. But as you consider prospective coaches, don’t look for a one-size-fits-all approach. Instead, look for someone who has a record of helping companies and uses a basic plan to achieve specific outcomes with clients.

Basically, you want someone who is goal-oriented and can hone in on your particular needs, challenges and situation.

Don’t assume that a coach is not a good fit because they push you out of your comfort zone. Absolutely expect them to make you feel challenged and uncomfortable at times. It is their job to hold you accountable for working your action plan, following through with your commitments and achieving your goals.

When being coached, you should definitely feel guided in this process, not criticized, humiliated or isolated. Look for a coach who can encourage and support you with positivity and enthusiasm. You should feel a connection and commitment to your coach.

Coaching will help you to have a better understanding or your business and yourself and can springboard you to success. You will learn many valuable lessons during this supportive and guided experience – including your strengths and weaknesses.

 

Click on this link below to learn more about my “Business Performance Coaching” services: http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/business-performance-coaching/

If you’d like to read my blog article about “How Do I Select a Business Coach?”, go here:

http://www.drrevelmiller.com/2019/10/how-do-i-select-a-business-coach/

 

If you want assistance in reaching some of your desired goals, give me a call at 805-448-5053.

Categories
Humor/Mind Twists

Humorous Vocabulary Twist – Inoculatte

Inoculatte : To take coffee  intravenously when you are running late.

 

Mind Twists: Taken from The  Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational.  Readers were invited to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one  letter, and supply a new definition.   Very clever!
Categories
Business Coaching

How Do I Select a Business Coach?

How Can I Find a Business Coach?

Below is a list of 5 preliminary actions that will help you select a business coach:

  1. Ask friends and colleagues for referrals or search online for coaches.
  2. Look for coaches with a high degree of knowledge and practical experience. Your coach needs education and training, insights and direct experience preferably in your business niche or area of need.
  3. Call some coaches you are interested in and a have a brief phone consult.
  4. Tell the coach about your business situation and what you are looking for.
  5. If you prefer one or two coaches that you speak with informally, then call them back and ask for an” informational interview” to gather more information and determine if you two might be a “good match”.

What Questions Should I Ask a Prospective Coach?

What do I need to know about a coach before deciding to hire him or her? What qualities and experiences does a coach need to have? How can I be certain their help will provide long-term course-correction?

 Ask the following questions before selecting your coach:

  1. How long have you been a business coach?
  2. Did you have any formal training as a business coach? Are you certified by a training institute?
  3. Do you have experience as a business owner?
  4. What types of businesses are you familiar with?
  5. Have you ever worked in or coached people working in my industry?
  6. How many individual business clients have you worked with?
  7. What level of managers or executives have you worked with?
  8. If I hired you, would I be working directly with you as my coach or would you assign me to another coach to work with?
  9. Do you meet with clients in-person, face-to-face or by telephone?
  10. Are you willing to visit my work place to see and assess our operations and meet with me, my boss, direct reports, colleagues and team members?
  11. Will you help me to identify targeted and measurable goals and objectives?
  12. Will you help me to develop a specific and strategic action plan with due dates?
  13. How do you ensure that I stay on track toward reaching my goals?
  14. Will we meet regularly? How often?
  15. Will we meet face-to-face or talk by phone?
  16. How long does each coaching session last?
  17. What is the duration of a coaching engagement? How many sessions or months?
  18. How do we manage changes and make adjustments during the coaching engagement?
  19. How do we assess progress?
  20. Do we draft and commit to a contract?
  21. What are the fees and additional costs for your services?

Gather this information and be ready to negotiate a contract.

Make a Decision

After collecting this information, review your notes. Make a list of the “Pros” and the “Cons” of each coach you interviewed and set some priorities. Also generate a list of additional questions to ask each coach.

Then consult with one of your trusted colleagues or your boss. Ask for their feedback and assistance in making a decision. Then finalize your set of questions and make a decision regarding your preferred coach.

If Needed, Get Your Decision-Maker Involved

After making your decision, get approval from your superior, the one who makes the final expenditure decisions. They should set some limits and expectations and help you with the contract. It may be wise to get your superior to participate in another discussion with the coach before making a final decision. Having his/her buy-in and support can be very helpful.

Finalize Your Decision

Then call the coach and continue your discussion. Ask your new questions and get clarification on issues. Allow the coach to set the agenda for hiring him/her. He/she will advise you how to go about creating a contract.

 

I’m an experienced business coach and ready to help you maximize your potential, tap your gifts, and help you run your business well.

To learn more about my “Business Performance Coaching”, click on this link:  http://www.drrevelmiller.com/what-we-treat/business-performance-coaching/

Call me today at 805-448-5053 to discuss your business coaching goals and my services.